My friend Lily and I have a lot in common which is probably why we are such good friends. The one thing we don’t have much of at this stage of our lives is common sense. We are both divorced, quite happily I might add, and fast approaching that dreaded fortieth birthday. Turning forty is not so bad when you have someone special to share it with but, considering Lily and I are both single moms, forty sounds like a jail sentence.
For the past eight or ten months Lily has been obsessed with what I secretly call her ‘boy toy’. If she ever hears me calling him that, she will have a fit. I believed it was just the casual fascination of a lonely divorcee until she called me up last week. Lily had gone from appreciating the proverbial eye candy to seriously considering a one night stand in the blink of an eye. My friend Lily, the conservative wall flower, was suddenly prepared to take home a guy half her age. He turns twenty a few short months before we celebrate her fortieth and she’s telling me she wants to take this teenager home and teach him a few things about life. I am wondering if I should have her take a psyche evaluation.
Thus began my dilemma. Do I encourage my bestie to come out of her shell and live it up a little or do I protect the poor lad from something that could end very suddenly and very badly. Lily does not have the best track record when it comes to break ups. She would rather walk away and pretend it didn’t happen before facing a guy and saying ‘Sorry babe, this isn’t working for me anymore’. Then again, the youngster might just need some life experience or a little distraction. With all the drama around her kids and her ex, Lily sure could use a good solid distraction right about now.
Yesterday Lily told me she’s made a decision. She will go to work and ogle as usual but if, for whatever reason and without any encouragement from her, her boy toy actually makes physical contact with her, she will take it as a sign to ‘go for it’. If he doesn’t touch her before the end of the work day, she promised to give up on him completely and stop talking about him. Secretly I’m hoping he’s off sick today because I don’t have anything going on to get excited about, not even eye candy and I’d like to get back to plain old girl talk. It would be nice to see a guy and rate him in a way that doesn’t end up comparing him, at length, to Lily’s boy toy.
Alas, Murphy strikes. A wound up spring who usually goes by the name ‘Lily’ phoned me this morning. Let me just take a moment here to explain that the young lad has, up until now, NEVER touched Lily in any way. Yes, I’ve been told how close he stands beside her and how she now finally understands the dance at the Founder’s Ball in The Vampire Diaries Season Two. She now gets the concept of ‘the intimacy of the near touch’ and all that junk but the fact remains that the child has never actually made any bodily contact with her, not even accidentally (much to Lily’s disappointment). So, as luck goes (bad in my case, good in Lily’s) she tells me that she was innocently standing discussing mundane work matters with her obsession when suddenly he reaches out and touches her arm.
At this point I’m obviously speechless and after the third ‘Sue? Are you still there?’ I finally manage to acknowledge her with a sound I cannot begin to describe. I am shocked. I am a little excited for my dear friend. I am dreading the hours and hours in my future that are going to be dedicated to rehashing that split second in time. I am dumbstruck that he would choose today of all days to reach out. I am not sure what to say so the conversation kind of goes like this (after the inhuman gulp slash grunt slash ‘oh’ that popped from my throat):
Lily: ‘Suddenly the whole world came to a grinding halt and all I could think about was the promise I made to myself last night. What do I do now, Sue?’
Me: ‘Um.’
Lily: ‘I know. How weird is this? Only you know about the promise so it’s not like someone could have put him up to it on a dare or something. Its a sign, Sue.’
Me: ‘Um.’
Lily: ‘I’m gonna go for it, Sue. Throw caution to the wind and all that jazz and just see what happens. New life, new me. No strings attached. Or do you think I’m over reacting? Do you think I’m reading him wrong? Am I just sensing things I want to sense? Any normal human wouldn’t stand that close to another one, would they? Unless they were in an intimate relationship, or wanted to be. What do you think, Sue?’
Me: ‘Um.’
Needless to say Lily started getting upset with me at this point. Accusing me of not listening and not understanding and not helping but I’m just trying to get a handle on how I’m supposed to feel about all of this. When I said Lily and I have a lot in common I was not joking. I’m just as much an introverted bystander in life as Lily is, or was, so what do I tell my best friend now? Do I encourage her to take the ‘one night stand’ opportunity that seems to be presenting itself when I’ve never believed in or approved of one night stands? Or do I tell Lily to act her age and find a single forty-something to build a future with?
Hours later I am still debating this entire concept when I walk into the subject of my dilemma at the Spar.
‘Sue?’
‘Jeff.’
‘How are you?’
Blah blah blah.
‘Can I ask you something, Sue?’
*Alarm bells, sirens and flashing lights*
‘Sure Jeff. What’s up?’
‘It’s Lily. I, um, I really like her a lot…’
OMS! Am I back in high school?
‘…and sometimes I think she feels the same but then I think I’m just imagining things. I’m not sure what to do. I know there’s a bit of an age difference between us…’ (A bit ?) ‘…but sometimes it seems she’s lonely and could use a little company. Do you think she’ll be interested in a little companionship with me?’
‘Um.’ (Yes, that is my fail-safe response).
‘Does she ever talk about me?’
I really am back in high school, junior high!
‘Is she involved with anyone?’
‘Yes’
Oh drat. What happened to my fail-safe? Why did I lie? The poor child looks like I’ve just given him the death sentence. I recover a bit of ground with ‘Only in her dreams that is.’ He brightens an eighth of a shade.
‘Who?’
Crunch time. Do I make his day with honesty or do I put an end to all this nonsense right now? One word is all I need to decide this lads short term fate. The word I chose is ‘You’.
The biggest Christmas tree in the world couldn’t shine brighter than his face. I leave him floating away on his cloud and pull out my cell phone.
‘Hi Lily? It’s Sue. I just saw Jeff at the Spar…’
Honesty is always the best policy.
